Can't Pay My Rent, 'Cause All My Money's Spent...

...but that's ok, 'cause I'm still fly.

I have been spending a ridiculous amount of money lately on things that promise to make me pretty and perfect, and none of them live up to their claims. No matter what I do, I still feel ugly. And I still feel hollow inside.
I am desperate to feel something other than ugly, and nothing I do makes me feel any better. I'm obsessed with my appearance and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of constantly looking at myself. I'm sick of feeling like I look like I feel. I spent over $800 this month on cosmetics, clothes, and various and sundry appliances to hide the way I feel and its really getting out of hand.
Everyone I talk to says the same thing. That I am pretty. This doesn't help. The boob job I'm saving up for won't help. The $200 hair extensions I'm saving up for won't help. Whitening my teeth, losing weight, tanning, new clothes, new shoes, plastic surgery, hair color, jewelry, a total fucking rebuild won't help. Because no matter what, I'm still me, and I'm still going to feel this way.

Hang on,
Ness