Chemical

I probably shouldn't be posting this online, because someone may see it, but I need to write it out. Earlier this month, I found out I was pregnant. Then, I had what they call a 'chemical pregnancy', which is when you miscarry very early. I am devastated. I didn't even want kids until I knew I had one. And now, I don't know how to take this. Should I just get over it, because I wasn't even really expecting it? Because I didn't have time to get to know what would have been my child? Should I continue to feel like a piece of me died? Because that's exactly what it was. I'll never get to take this kid to school. Or hold it's hand while we cross the street. Or find out if it looked like me or him, and it's killing me inside. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you alive. I'm sorry I'll never know your name, get to hold you, or tell you you'll be alright. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe. I love you.